Three Things That Should Go (But Won’t)

3.8.09 Hampton (J.Mordaunt)

3.8.09 Hampton (J.Mordaunt)

With the first Phish tour in five years about to explode in only a month, there are many facets of the experience we will be reacquainted with after an extended absence.  From navigating the summer lot to scheming for your perfect show location, a whole new realm of critical thinking will be reopened.  We will be confronted by traffic jams, bathroom lines, and maps every day for the first time in quite a while, and security guards will be factors in our lives again as we engage in our secret mission seeking the ultimate- those frozen moments where thoughts go blank and we forget who and where we are- utterly engulfed by the psychedelic monstrosity of Phish.

Yet on our mission, and while reacquainting ourselves with the flow of tour, we will inevitably be confronted by some of the same boneheaded trends of shows past.  And as we enter this summer, the most anticipated tour in memory, here are a few of those in-show behaviors that would be better off left behind.

3.7.09 Hampton (J.Mordaunt)

3.7.09 Hampton (J.Mordaunt)

Clapping: There is nothing more absurd than when the band enters a slammin’ dance groove and half the pavilion starts clapping to the beat.  It may be subconscious, or it may be a meager attempt at getting involved, but if I had the ability to make one thing vanish, it just might be the constant clapping.  Not surprisingly, the band often gets annoyed by this trend as well, intentionally jamming in another direction, leaving the clappers wondering where their downbeat went.

Throwing Glowsticks: If Trey hadn’t said how cool these things looked during The Great Went, would things be different now?  What used to be reserved for rolled-out raver kids became mainstream in the Phish scene’s later years, posing annoyances and safety hazards for the band and audience alike.  There is nothing like being blissed out, eyes closed, in the middle of a “Hood” jam and getting slammed in the skull with a glowstick; poetry in motion.  Although those glowrings don’t hurt as much when they come crashing down, get ’em outta here too.  What’s the point again?

Hampton (J.Kravitz)

Hampton (J.Kravitz)

Talking Loudly: One of the most annoying things possible at a show is when your two or three neighbors, who clearly don’t care about Phish, are yapping away over beers like they are at a crowded college bar.  Sure, it’s loud in there, but it’s a huge rock concert- it’s supposed to be!  Yet some people insist on conversing like it is their last living moment together on earth- in your ear.  A completely obnoxious behavior, you wonder how people like that get their hands on Phish tickets these days.  I’m all for talking- but let’s catch up after the show.  During the show, shut it.

But, alas, with 20,000 person concerts, I don’t really expect any of these things to come to a halt, but if I had my ‘druthers, they would vanish from the universe of a Phish show.  But the overarching beauty here is that we have a Phish universe again, and no number of clappers, glowstick throwers, or obnoxious conversationalists can take that away.



9.21.99 Pima Co. Fairgrounds, Tucson, AZ < LINK

9.21.99 Pima Co. Fairgrounds, Tucson, AZ < TORRENT LINK

1999-09-21gnIn an open fairgrounds in the desert, Phish played the most random venue of Fall ’99, and played it well.  The band assembled a creative second set, combining some diverse songs and improv in “Carini > Bug,” and “Vultures > Limb,” the cover “Will It Go Round in Circles,” and a monstrous “Antelope” to close.  This one is not so widely known, but even the first set brings some heat with “Split” and “Drowned.”  Plus, a virtually aunheard of “Reba” encore.  It’s hard to call this show underrated, because nobody ever talks about it; it’s more like unrated.  Check it out.

I: Poor Heart, Sample in a Jar, Split Open and Melt, Drowned, I Didn’t Know, Get Back on the Train, Birds of a Feather, Theme from the Bottom, Golgi Apparatus

II: Carini > Bug, Strange Design, Vultures* > Limb by Limb, Will It Go Round In Circles, Dirt, Run Like an Antelope

E: Reba*, Bold as Love


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233 Responses to “Three Things That Should Go (But Won’t)”

  1. whole tour! Says:

    @completely….thanks man! thought you guys would like that. it’s been cracking me up for a month now.

    i know a few people who could be on there…lol

  2. hairy pood Says:

    yeah, he’s an interesting guy. he dj’s drum and bass. went clean and sober about 5-6 years ago, but he’d always tell me if i wanted to hangout sometime we could “get weird.” by get weird he meant drink 6 pots of coffee.

  3. Mr. Completely Says:

    btwn that and the texts site, and fuckyoupenguin, I will never have to do anything but LOL again

  4. BingosBrother Says:

    I don’t know who turned this thread around but kudos to whomever involved. I started at Page 1, had to stop, jumped to 8 and good times were back again.
    *I hate when SOAM makes me laugh at a computer screen. LUV U KID.

  5. hairy pood Says:

    my friend in oly always says that hipsters dress like retarded 13 yr old girls and rodeo clowns

  6. voopa Says:

    Other fun websites/blogs:

  7. Jay Says:

    Good thread today my friends. Was laughing so hard so many times!

  8. Mr. Completely Says:

    THIS IS WEB 3.0

    fuck social networking bullshit – single use websites rule <– note SOAM thats “shot” not “job”

    and so many more – yesterdays Texts site…the future’s here, we are it

  9. guyforget Says:

    Miner has been curiously absent today, perhaps ashames of where his message board went today?? 🙂

  10. voopa Says:

    Well, he has to approve posts with links, so he’s around…

  11. bcb Says:

    can any of the wise souls here tell me what their best version of Harpua is? I just realized the only one i have on my hd is from the Darkside show, which is historic, but not the best by any means. I figured this was the place for some knowledgeable phish opinions.

  12. guyforget Says:

    bcb – check out 10/31/94. Nice War pigs salute….

  13. whole tour! Says:

    i forget the date… harpua > honkey tonk women > harpua

  14. bcb Says:

    thanks guy, i’m checking it out right now.

    whole tour- i will try and find that, never knew phish did honkey tonk women

  15. voopa Says:

    I’m partial to the Hit By a Comet Harpua 7/16/94. Live Phish Vol. 2.

    But you really should seek out as many as you can. There’s always something hilarious and different in each one. Like Primus trying to play along :-S

  16. old dude Says:

    bcb – Eagles Ballroom Milwaukee 93

  17. old dude Says:

    negative. Eagles = 1994.

  18. whole tour! Says:

    6.30.94 honkey tonk women!

  19. old dude Says:

    Halloween 95 Chicago = Beat It teaser
    (then fucking Quadrolamia let down)

  20. wanderin Says:

    @ Completely…

    Good Links…I was on FU penguin not too long ago and hadn’t laughed like that in a long time.

  21. Mr.Miner Says:

    Minor – thanks for the Download. I was at this show and the night after in Las Cruces. These were great shows. Could you please post the 9/22 show?

    …funny stuff today, just read through it…that hipster website is absurd, def looks like pacific northwest fest- can’t believe harry knows dude!!

  22. whole tour! Says:

    i got the link for ‘hipster’ from coventry phish blog….they are brutal, but spot on hillarious!

  23. hairy pood Says:

    the funny part is, i live in the PNW now, but I know that guy from VT, and he’s still there!

  24. Clay Says:

    sad day for trey

    stay strong big red

  25. EL Duderino Says:

    I just heard this on LL. That sucks our thoughts are with the Anastasio Family! Sad day indeed 🙁

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