We’re Pregnant and Need To Get Albany!

Jones Beach (W.Rogell)

Jones Beach (W.Rogell)

One of the best things about Phish tour are the inevitable fiascoes that go down on your mission to get from show to show.  The combination of psychedelics, many miles on the road, little sleep, and a constant whirlwind of cities consistently results in absurd tales that survive the test of time.  Whether you’ve escaped a police search with goodies stashed, gotten horribly lost leaving a show while barely thinking about where you were driving, been evacuated from a hotel for a fire alarm, or stumbled upon exactly what you were looking for when it was the furthest thing from possible, everyone has had their own tour adventures and obstacles.  This was one of those hurdles.

Atlantic Beach, NY

Atlantic Beach, NY

We were all set for the Jones Beach run.  One of my friends had hooked up his uncle’s beach house in Atlantic Beach- 20 minutes from the venue- for the entire week.  We didn’t need to worry about city traffic or blocking out a quarter of our day in order to get to the show; we could relax and go about our business.  But after a scathing late-night verbal assault that came through the  bushes separating the neighbor’s property, my friend wanted to flee the scene.  Without any real explanation, we needed to leave, and before we knew it we found ourselves back in New York City.  Fortunately we had a place to stay, but we had to brave outbound traffic for the next two shows- ugh.  For those unfamiliar with the math here, Jones Beach is a 35 mile drive from the city, but can easily take upwards of two or three hours if you leave at the wrong time.  Luckily, my friend and ultimate navigator, Greg, refuses to wait in traffic- but that is a whole ‘nother story.

Times Square, NYC

Times Square, NYC

As we got to the city on the afternoon of June 3rd- a day off- we unloaded the car and Greg went to park it in a garage.  Little did I know that he found a street spot- which doesn’t always turn out so well in New York City.  That night we went out to Mike Gordon’s birthday bash downtown, and upon getting home, Greg went out to smoke a cigarette.  Showing up at least an hour later, he said he got a phone call and had taken a walk.  Fair enough.  After I went to sleep, Greg, unbeknownst to me, snuck out for another “cigarette” which I’m sure he smoked many of, as he walked miles of city blocks looking for our missing mini-van we had rented only days before.  Little did I know, sleeping soundly in bed, Greg searched for quite a while before giving up and calling it a night.

Upper East Side, NYC

Upper East Side, NYC

When I woke up, Greg had already been out in the concrete jungle, pounding the pavement to no avail.  He explained to me, visibly stressed, that the car was missing!  He had looked for hours, and had called the impound- it hadn’t been towed.  Hmmm. What the fuck was he talking about?  He had parked in a garage across the street, or so I thought.  I was sure, given the circumstances, he had drank too much tequila the night before and the car was right where he left it.  No dice.  It was starting to get on in the day; we didn’t exactly get up early.  To make matters more complex, we didn’t have the identifying rental key chain, since we had cut the wire in order to all have keys to the car.  Ok, this is impossible I thought. I was calling Thrifty back.

Impound Lot On the West Side Hwy

Impound Lot On the West Side Hwy

We quickly uncovered the missing link to the mystery.  Early that morning, the agent had misspoke our plate number to Greg, going as far as to say “E as in Edward,” mistaking an “C” for an “E.”  He never had the right license plate to begin with when he had called the city’s tow yard.  Immediately redialing the impound, we found out that our car was towed, and was now located at a lot along the West Side Highway- the opposite of where we needed to go- and it was about 4 pm.  We thought about hopping a train, but that would have sucked after the show, so we decided to just go for it.  Taking a cab to the docks along the water, we hopped out and ran inside, only to find a room full of people sitting patiently, waiting in front of us.  The reality of city bureaucracy slapped us in the face, as we imagined being there forever.  Had we fucked up and made the wrong decision?  I sure thought so.

As we went to the window to give them our information, our paper work was put in line with everyone else’s- a bad omen.  As we were leaving the window to await our fate, Greg- one of the smoothest talkers around- began to speak.  Stressed about getting to the show on time, he channelled his stress into an absurd story.  He politely, but urgently, asked the woman behind the counter- babiesthat archetypal city employee moving slower than molasses- how long it would be before we got our car. He needed to know because his wife had just gone into labor in Albany, and if we weren’t going to get our car in time, we needed to leave and rent one immediately!  I turned with a look that must have come close to blowing his cover, as he has no wife, but I chilled and went with it.  After some back and forth, the woman asked what he was possibly doing three hours from his wife at this point, and without thinking, he responded, “She’s two weeks early!  This wasn’t supposed to happen.”  Balancing his politeness with a desperate tone, the woman was clearly buying Greg’s tale.  She told us she’d do what she could, and to have a seat.

We went to the back of the small room, sitting and laughing covertly at his improvised yarn.  Watching the clock, minutes moved slowly as we kept our hopes alive that things would be fine.  About ten minutes later, ahead of many people who had been there when we arrived, my name was called.  A different woman, with a smile, asked us who the daddy was as she processed our paperwork.  We dove, head first, into a conversation about her son, my son, and Greg’s son-to-be, and the urgency of the situation at hand.  She wished us good luck as she gave us our receipt and claim check, and within ten more minutes we were on our way.  We couldn’t have been there more than a half an hour.  We forced ourselves to keep a straight face on our way out, but, nonetheless, out we went!



Greg’s super-human driving and navigation skills, with the help of “Garmini” (our affectionately named Garmin GPS), made our way through the madness of Queens and onto Long Island back roads, never stopping for a lick of traffic the entire time.  Keeping in touch with our friends on lot- and stuck on the expressway- most sat in hours of highway gridlock.  We realized that we were we were going to make the show, but as we continued, Garmini’s ETA continued to decrease.  By the time all was said and done, we pulled into the lot from the opposite side of traffic, arriving a solid hour before showtime.  What started out as a nightmare, turned into a hilarious adventure- par for the course when navigating the madness of Phish tour; things usually work out.  As we locked the doors, Greg turned to me and confidently said- just as Hannibal proclaimed on Tuesday nights of our youth- “I love it when a plan comes together.”



5.31.09 Fenway Park, Boston, MA < MEGAUPLOAD

5.31.09 Fenway Park, Boston, MA < TORRENT


Official Fenway Poster

Play Ball!  Phish’s summer tour opener was a spectacle as the band stepped onstage in a stadium for the first time in their career.  Stepping to the plate, Phish rapped a solid one, featuring three debuts and a some classic jam vehicles.  “Tweezer > Light” was the improvisational highlight, while the band surprised everyone with Skynyrd’s “The Ballad of Curtis Loew” for the first time since August ’93.  A unique night that will always be remembered in Phish history.

I: Star Spangled Banner^, Sample in a Jar, Moma Dance, Chalk Dust Torture, Ocelot*, Stash, Bouncing Around the Room, Poor Heart, Limb by Limb, Wading in the Velvet Sea, Down with Disease, Destiny Unbound, Character Zero

II: Tweezer > Light*, Bathtub Gin, David Bowie, Time Turns Elastic*, Free, The Ballad of Curtis Loew, You Enjoy Myself

E: Cavern, Good Times Bad Times, Tweezer Reprise

^ from the pitcher’s mound   * debut

Source: Schoeps mk41 > kc5 > cmc6 > Sonosax SX-M2 > Sound Devices 722 (@ 24 bit / 48 kHz) – Taper: Dave Flaschner

Tags: ,

170 Responses to “We’re Pregnant and Need To Get Albany!”

« Previous1234567Next »
  1. Yome NetSan Says:

    Brillant !

  2. Al Says:

    Write a book about life on the 2009 tour! I’d buy it.

  3. Twiggy Says:

    Great post. weird shit happens that you can’t explain, but please try to be as nice as you can to the people who don’t have a clue who you are or what you’re doing in their town. They will help you out if you ask properly. Part of the vibe if you ask me. Be nice, Act nice and you are welcome anywhere. Good vibes=Good Times. Peace.

  4. Twiggy Says:


  5. Mr.Miner Says:

    @ AL- working on it
    @Twiggy- exactly

  6. Twiggy Says:

    I know I’ve had my share.

  7. Mr.Miner Says:

    some late night / early morning goodness for those around:

    Camden Set 2 +E sbd rmstr (BLOWS LivePhish release out of the water)


    I think “Sugar Shack” is private. I couldn’t DL it….

  8. Mr.Miner Says:

    ^ you can hear Mike so much more, therefore everything Trey plays makes much more sense. Anyone listening to the sbds is missing one of the main dynamics of Phish- Trey/Mike interplay…the entire sound is better

  9. Twiggy Says:

    Was going to please the wife, but am now more intrigued by the Sugar Shack. Stalked Mike after Ashe. He drank cranberry juice if yall wonna know. followed him to a bar where the bridge was playing. Mike always caters to the fans. Cranberry juice style.

  10. Twiggy Says:

    Should probab;y be more intrigued by the wife right? Going to bed.

  11. Twiggy Says:

    Might be a fun topic. Crazy tour stories. May be lenghty, yet funny. Night Y’all form KY.

  12. Twiggy Says:

    BTW Miner,
    Happy Anny. didn’t marry a phish lady, but never happier. Thanks for the great dialogue and will see you soon!

  13. ColonelJoy Says:

    Great Story, Miner. I’m not sure I can top it.

    A famous and sickly played show that posed logistical problems unforseen by the band until the day of the show was 02-23-97 Cortemaggiore, Italy

    Cortamaggior is a very small town in Northern Italy with no train station. There is bus service 6 days a week from the nearest station in Piacenza, but the show was on a Sunday, so no public transit and the venue was probably 10 miles from the station.

    My crew had done London through A-Dam via rental car, and began eurailing it with Milan. Most people were doing the train, only a few had cars.

    Anyway, we show up in Picenza trying to figure out how we are getting to the venue. Luckily we saw a famous Wookie, named Pooh, outside of the station. He had a compact car and agreed to shuttle us to the venue for a fair price. So, we piled like 7 people into this tiny euro compact and drove toward Cortemaggiore. It was early, and we had to be some of the first people to get into town. On the outskirts an a cop pulled us over. It was probably quite a site, seeing a dreaded out wook driving 7 kids in an overstuffed compact….I don’t blame him for stopping us. When he approached the car he was laughing and asked, “What is this, bus?”

    We explained the situation and warned him that there would be others, a small horde. He was cool and let us go, and we mingled in the little town’s farmer’s market with rural Italian folk…very nice. The lone restaurant next to the venue stripped their menue, offering only pizza to economize service….it was excellent pizza.

    Anyhow, I’ll never forget that Italian Cop and the look on his face when he questioned Pooh…

  14. Old Willy Shakes Says:

    Haha, I have definitely pulled that move before. Parking on the streets of NYC waking the next morning only to find my car had dissapeared. We made up a game of it called “spot-not a spot” trying to guess whether the street spot we chose was legit or not. Only once it was “not a spot” and that impound blows, took forever to get my car, luckily when it happened to me I didn’t have a Phish show that day!! Kudos to Greg for saving your ass, I have to remember that story if it ever happens to me again.
    “Garmini had a lumpy head!!”

  15. Al Says:

    concerning the remastered Camden second set link from above: When I turn up the treble on my Hifi and turn up the bass a bit, I have the same remaster effect…

  16. ColonelJoy Says:

    I’m so ready to book my flight to Indio….I hope they Kangfirm it soon. I want to fly on the 30th. I see a good flight that gets me in Palm Springs at 2pm….that is good as long as the show begins after 6pm, but we don’t know that yet….I think the first set on the first day will be in the evening, but the first sets the next two days will be late afternoon….my guess

    I got a phatty, phatty deal on a condo 7 miles from the venue. Real nice place, sleeps eight, can pick fresh grapefruit on the tree hanging over the patio….$150 a night.

    My best old friend, who I have known since elementary school, and who has never seen Phish, is considering going to Halloween.

    He sent me an email with a picture a character from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly….I didn’t know the character’s name, and I asked who it was the good, bad or ugly….he said, “None of the above; that’s Indio!”

  17. ColonelJoy Says:

    I can’t get to any of these remixed links on this gove computer, but it is good to know that Mike is sounding better, because he is mixed like shit on the boards.

    Hopefully this shit (live sound, download sound) will be worked out between now and RR…I suspect it will

  18. T. Leo Says:

    Great Story Minor!

    I am still trying to figure out what happened at Deer Creek. We got to our campsite around 3:00 and I spent most of the time setting up tents and getting unpacked for the party that would soon occur. I don’t remember but having 4 beers from then till the show started and that is all the alcohol I had. I puffed a bit and had some baloons, but as far as the recreation goes that is it.

    My memory starts getting hazy as soon as the show started. The campground drove us in a schoolbus to a little farmhouse just outside the Deer Creek Parking lot. We had to walk what seemed like a mile to get into the venue. As soon as we got in, the show started. I remember having a great time just walking/dancing back in forth down the aisle between the pavillion and lawn during Limb by Limb and Moma Dance. After that I ran into some friends that I haven’t seen in years. That is my last memory until…

    Complete darkness. I am on some farm road in the middle of corn country USA pouring down rain, thunder and lightning. It is pitch dark and I can see no lights anywhere. I am walking, but I don’t know where I came from or where I was going. Sheer terror is starting to set in as I don’t know how long I had been walking but I know it was a long time. At some point I just decided to turn around. I finally found a campground, not mine, but some civilization. The people I talked to there had no idea where my campground was but directed me to the Deer Creek pavilion. Once there I was able to find a cab to take me back to the camground…Sweet Relief finally sets in.

    The first thing I notice is that I can hear the pavillion and Phish is STILL PLAYING. They were just starting the first notes of 2001. Argh, I just realized that I missed most of what many are calling the best show of the tour. I am crushed and pissed at myself, as I don’t usually allow myself to get that out of control. Anyway, I did the math based on when I think I left the show and when I heard 2001 start as soon as I got back to the campground and I was walking down those Indiana farm roads for over 3 hours.. No clue why, but I am home and dry now… Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

  19. GuitarPicker420! Says:

    @Col. Joy – I am supremely jealous that you made it to Cortamaggiore. That is one of my all time favorite tapes, particularly the first set. Probably the best Carini I’ve ever heard.
    @T.Leo – Those corn fields will suck you in and don’t let go. You must have headed north, because west would have run you into a highway and south and east are all developed. Sorry to hear about your misadventure, it was a hot, hot show.

  20. easo91 Says:

    is there anywhere where all these remaster links or matrices are posted?

  21. RobAins Says:

    The remastered tracks sound great, but Al has a point. I’m sure whoever remastered them just boosted specific frequencies with a dynamic EQ. Definitly a lot cleaner sounding than just turning up the treble on a car stereo or Computer speakers….. thanks for the link, hope they post more.

  22. El Duderino Says:

    Yeah, their @ demonoid.com which is an invite only site full of stuff that violates the copywriter laws

  23. smegma Says:

    hey all, i’m in the process of selling my gorge tix via the ticket trading page on this site. I am on the east coast and the buyer is on the west coast. We have been in contact through email and voicemail and it seems that this is the first time either one of us has done this. so i’m trying to get some advice on how to go about it in a safe way so that he gets his tickets and i get the money. He seems pretty trustworthy but i’m just not sure how this is usually done. any ideas (especially from miner) would be greatly appreciated, and i’m guessing that others would benefit from this info as well. thanks
    p.s. nice story miner, gonna listen to that camden dl now

  24. yisseroff Says:

    ETA on a Garmin actually decreasing?? Impossible…

  25. phatty mcgee Says:

    I think the events surrounding a show can be as exciting as the show itself. I wonder if this is a result of the functional topology of the neocortex (obviously at a sub cellular level) or is a manifestation of….

    Just kidding. I love you Wax and Mr C.

« Previous1234567Next »

Leave a Reply